Most parents dread having tough conversations with their children, especially when it comes to intimacy.
Michal Naisteter is a local sex educator who helps parents discuss the subject. She gave PHL17 three tips on how to have “the talk.”
Naisteter is known online as the “Sex Positive Mama.” She has an advanced degree in human sexuality.
Her mission is to educate parents on how to empower their kids. “I delved into all of the research behind complex sexuality education. I think sex education is amazing, but I started to see that the most important sex educator is actually the parents,” said Naisteter.
That’s why she encourages parents and caregivers to have “the talk” before the child can speak. She says, “the earlier, the better.”
If you are unequipped in how to do that, Naisteter has 3 tips for you.
The first tip: “The talk” is an on-going conversation. You want to retrain your mind. This is not a vaccine that give your child. You don’t hit it and quit it and then you’re done. This is a lifelong process because your sexuality is also lifelong,” said Naisteter.
She says its important to create an open and safe environment for your child.
Next, find teachable moments and be proactive. Don’t wait for the child to bring up a question.
“It can be when you see a pregnant woman. You bring up the question, where do you think babies come from? You could watch the news or media. As you’re watching it with them, you say, what do you think about that? Especially with teenagers because you want to engage their mind,” she added.
The goal is to get the child to communicate.
The last tip is to write down two things you want your child to know about healthy sexuality.
“I want you to start thinking about it because the follow up question is where are they going to get that from? Where are they going to learn that? When they do come to you with that curiosity… you want to thank them and encourage that curiosity instead of shaming them,” said Naisteter.
There are some who disagree with that process. But, a study published in the “Journal of adolescent health” showed parents who talked to their children about sex, did not lead to sexual debut. In fact, the report states– “adolescents who rate their general communication with parents favorably were less likely to be sexually active.”
“Not talking about it is showing them something right away,” said Naisteter.
That’s why this Sex Positive Mama says she will continue to hold workshops and lectures to educate the masses. “If I can do it, so can you. I’m a parent too and it’s not easy to think about these things.”
Naisteter is having these discussions with her two year old daughter, Hanna.
You can follow her journey on the “Sex positive mama” instagram page or, visit the website by clicking HERE.